Welcome Back, Feint
Orion hasn't been down to visit Feint since he brought .. uh .. Delirium in as her with Blurr. He tries not to dwell too much on it all, it might make his head hurt. Not to mention the deluge of other things that might come with the idea. Having been blindsided with the duties of command hasn't given him much time to come down and visit either. But having remembered something, the mech arrives in the brig area to pay a visit, carrying a medium sized box in his hands as he looks to the guard and dismisses him. "Feint." he states, just to get her attention, before offering an apologetic smile. "All of this seems to be hung up on Zeta's desk or I would already have you checked out of here and back on duty - if that is what you want." he admits, not sure if the femme would even want to be an Autobot again. "It's all right. I'm patient if nothing else," Feint says, looking up from her reading. Still a screenface. Still in a mismatched (though at least uniformly colored) body. "I do have a few questions, however, and I'm certain you have things you might want to ask me, considering your position. Do you have a moment?" "A moment seems to be all I have these days." Orion chuckles in mild amusement, "There are times where I miss the freedom that came with being on the run." Oh the irony. As he goes to take a seat in the room, he sets down the box. "Have medical been by to run any tests on you yet? If not, I need to put a spark to their engines." The box remains unopened for now. "So.. what's on your mind, Feint?" Calling her Delirium just doesn't feel right anymore. "Medically they assure me that I'm sound, barring the fact that I have no transformation cog. No bombs, no hidden corrosive agents," she affirms. "It's more the psychological damage they're waiting to see results on. After all, I've been with the Decepticons for a good while. I could be 'tainted'." Pax reaches up to rub a hand over his face. Again, the fact that he doesn't have a faceplate catches up to him and makes it feel weird - like growing a beard for years and years and suddenly shaving it off, it just doesn't feel right for a while - as the mech lowers his hand, he nods. "I suppose that is a legitimate concern." the mech finds himself admitting as he considers her. "What did they have you doing? I had to think hard about the one time I saw you - when I was recovering.. uh, you." he offers a sheepish smile, and continues, "You were doing some kind of upgrade to Shockwave." Just saying the Senator's name now causes the mech to frown in disapproval and concern. So much had happened to him - and to Feint as he realizes now. And that flash of recognition of this fact shows as his posture locks for a moment and reflects in his optics. Feint understands this, and she finds it relieving to talk to Orion Pax rather than the impatient, high-strung and immature Blurr. There are some things that only age and experience can give the right perspective on. "They indentured me as a medic. I never participated in warfare or battlefield tactics; I refused to do so. Instead I did the only thing I could find acceptable, and that was to heal the broken that were brought to me." Her screen face turns upwards and focuses on Pax with a uneasy single optic expression. "I was frequently asked to undo 'personality adjustments'. Thought control is still, apparently, alive, well, and in use." When she brings up the personality adjustments, Orion looks genuinely surprised. Zeta said that wasn't going to be on the table, or so he thought. "How recent of an adjustment?" Pax asks without thinking and then pauses as he considers her. "I appreciate the candor that you were not involved in direct combat." he adds emphatically. "And that.. you had to use your gift in ways that you probably were not comfortable with." And that brings him pause. "Actually, no, correct that." the mech says, a frown creasing his features. "We were all granted a personality that is our own and a gift from Primus and the thirteen themselves. Noone should be forced to loose theirs - or be forced to be the one to take it away. I apologize, sincerely, Feint." He reaches up and touches the side of her screen in a gesture of compassion. "That you were forced into such things. And in the future, I will understand if you do not wish to continue in the field - either medicine or in the use of your outlier abilities. Speaking of, the others have been chomping at the bit to mingle - there isn't many femme outliers after all." he teases, just a little, just to judge her reaction. He doesn't want to push her too far at this point. Small steps. "I cannot say exactly when and I don't know where or who is responsible, but there is a new Institute. There were raids to rescue Decepticons and those who had been registered as Decepticons who'd been taken to the Institute for "treatment". It's been ongoing in patches, here and there, for thousands of years," Feint says. "I should have known when I was studying under Trepan. He always reminded me that dissension was a sign of mental sickness, and that it was our job as mnemnosurgeons to cure that disease." She places her hands on Pax's own, reciprocating the gesture, but she stiffens at the talk of outliers. Nope, not ready yet. "... My abilities are largely sealed away. Shockwave did something that simply turned it off. They have no reason to be excited about me." Feeling her stiffen at the mention of the others, Pax's hands are actually the first to react to Feint's mention of her abilities being shut off. A simple question asked in Chirolinguistics, (Sealed away?). However, he does continue to speak. "They're not a bad bunch, after all, I put up with them." A little grin at that. "But I can understand if you want some time before you get settled back in with the rest of the group. Or anyone for that matter. I'm sure that Blurr is probably extremely excited to see you and ready to move planets to get you out of here, but if you need some alone time..?" he suggests to her quietly. The thought of the New Institute draws a frown. "And of course there's.. no 'signature' for when things like this or done. But if there's a new Institute, I cannot let it stand. Reprogramming someone simply because they do not agree with you wholeheartedly is just fundamentally wrong." Feint's hands brush against Pax's in an immediate answer to the question, (I cannot push my feelings or thoughts into the minds of others anymore.) She speaks the rest of her thought. "I'm glad for it, really. That was the reason I was taken out of the minds and sold to be vivisected. It's the reason Halogen wanted me to be his heir. It's the reason Blurr's creator Axel died. Can you imagine, Orion - living your whole life crushing down your emotions and trying to remain perfectly calm and in control, because the moment you felt any strong emotion, those around you might suffer from it? I felt like a steel giant in a world full of aluminum minds, and any move I might make could tear some one apart. I still have my sight - but now, at long last, I can be -normal- like everyone else." Blurr. "That brings me to the question I wanted to ask: Have the Autobots now become like Blurr - do they believe that everyone is guilty until proven innocent, that lives are only worth saving if they have been appropriately vetted?" "Then I am glad that you were granted freedom from what was troubling you..." Pax says, though his hands continue the subtler response, (Though the cost you paid for such freedom was still too much.). As he considers her question, he shakes his head. "No more than I can consider being the mech that shorts out any electrical object that he touches, Feint." he admits. Glitch holds a special place in Pax's mind. Trailbreaker and Windcharger may have control over their powers most of the time, but poor Glitch.. "Though I would still hardly call you normal." At her question, though, the mech lets out an exhaust - a sigh at that. Lowering his head, Pax releases her hands for the moment to settle them back on the box. "There seems to be two prevailing schools of thought within the forces." Pax finds himself admitting, "Those that think, as Blurr does, that only through service comes redemption. I am not a member of that belief. I believe that everyone deserves and should be granted a chance to lead the life that they want. Does that mean I would let a Decepticon terrorize someone? No. But I will not allow an Autobot to do the same. It is reprehensible to think otherwise. Life is a precious thing, Feint. And we should be allowed the chance to explore our existence freely and without oppression - from anyone or anything." "Blurr." he sighs. "Your disappearance weighed on him, I'm sure. But at the same time, even before you disappeared, I did not appreciate things that he had done, such as the execution of the YX-939 series bots for whatever action that they had supposedly taken. It did not matter that they were just servants, or disposable caste. They should be allowed to have their lives as they saw fit. But I never got the chance to address it - and I feel now that it could possibly too late to get him back on course. I cannot alone at least. I assume you have discussed your thoughts on this with him?" "He came to visit me almost immediately, and now, I wish he hadn't," Feint says. "He's heartbroken because I don't share the same desire to smelt everything with a purple badge. He doesn't understand how I can forgive them for what they did, and he doesn't understand why I believe we need to judge them as individuals, by what they do, what their intentions are. He doesn't think any of them are salvageable, and he thinks.... he thinks I've been corrupted by them. I don't even know if he wants to see my face again." "If he loves you - if he truly loves you and does not see you only as a prize for his collection, he will come back, Feint." Orion promises gently, yet firmly. He cannot help but to feel a little bad for her. After all she's been through, now her not-so-better half shows up and dumps on her. "And if he comes back after you have a new face, then it will be his loss, will it not?" And if anyone could use a loss or two.. "I can understand him being upset and wanting to have the Cons pay in energon for what they did to you, but if you have let that go - then he realizes that he must support your decision, as I have." Orion sighs. "Though I admit, hearing you say it was a relief. I wasn't sure what I would have done if you had become energon thirsty for vengeance." he says with a small chuckle. "I will talk to him, if you want, but to be honest? I have little to no experience when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Ask me to lead a field team on an impossible mission, sure? Ask me how the spark works when it comes to being in love - I'm probably more lost than you can imagine." he admits with some chagrin. "I have a hard time telling the femme I appreciate that I want to be more than just her confidant." he laughs at that. "Anyway!" Time for a subject change. "These were.. are.. the personal effects from your old office in the Decagon. I had them packed away after your supposed demise. Uh. I don't know if you want to return there when everything is said and done, but if you want to remain here, I could always use another medic and someone that understands the emotional side of things." She is quiet as she thinks about it for a few minutes. "Go back to being a lone voice crying out against the madness going on around her? Well, I suppose the more things change, the more they stay the same." She follows that statement with soft laughter. "I am not sure if you are aware of it, Pax, but I've been trying to salvage Blurr's mind for vorns. His creators and handlers had been trying to implant mind-control code in him, and the IAA was more than happy to fund the continued experiments on him. I was finally able to set him free, but I wonder if the damage was already too deeply ingrained on his young mind. Without me around, the IAA has had continued unfettered access to him. ... I'm not sure there's anything to be done for him now. He's the whole reason I decided to train to be a medic, to learn the secrets of the mind and frame, but... I may have lost him nonetheless." She stands up. "If I have permission to leave, I'd like to do so. I need to be vetted, I suppose, before I return to work - unless you have the clearance to pronounce it so - and I would gladly take up the opportunity to continue to save lives." "I would imagine if anyone had the chance, it would have been you, Feint. And I'm not asking you to fade into the background. I'm telling you that you are free to do what you want, though I think first things first, we should get you to medical so they can start on the work on preparing you a new frame, if you want." Orion offers helpfully. "I'm not sure if I want one," Feint explains. "Maybe a face would be nice, yes, but this body, odd as it looks, has been very serviceable. Shockwave may not have an appreciation for beauty, but he -does- understand functionality. This frame may look strange but it's been exceptionally effective." Orion looks surprised, for a moment, then nods. "Well, we can at least provide an Autobot with that much, Feint." he grins at her, and with that, he vets her right back into the group. "Find Wheeljack when you are ready, then. I don't want to push you into anything." She laughs again, a little. Her optic looks pleased: (^) "Wheeljack... oh it's been awhile. I'd love to see him again. I'd love to see all of them again." Handing over the box, Orion chuckles. "I'm sure they will be excited to see you as well." he admits with a grin. "We sort of have to use a roommate system, and since you seem to be on the outs with Blurr at the moment, if you need any help finding a bunkmate, let me know." "If it's all the same to you, I'll just stay in the medical ward for awhile. I haven't had my own quarters in so long that I don't think I'll be able to recharge in one just yet," Feint says, taking the box and preparing to leave. "That's acceptable, Feint. Just don't.. hang from the ceiling or do anything to creep out the medics." Orion offers with a grin as he gestures. "After you." he offers to the femme, springing her from the brig.